


Already Over

by Crexendo



Series: All That Glitters Songfics [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Implied Torture, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, M/M, Songfic, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 02:50:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crexendo/pseuds/Crexendo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurosaki Ichigo, the Pet of the ruler of Tengoku, Aizen Sousuke, doesn't know if there's anything worth living for anymore.</p><p>Inspired by Ai no Kusabi, and the Taming Riki series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Already Over

**Author's Note:**

> This songfic spawned a whole universe for Kay-chan and I . . . . And it's gone all sorts of places. I've loved it. As I said in the summery, this was all inspired by the yaoi anime Ai no Kusabi, and the Taming Riki series by Kira Takenouchi. Some things are the same, such as the name of the city, Tanagura, and the class divisions between the mongrels and the citizens of Tanagura. However, that being said, there is no real distinction as to what makes those of Tanagura superior, such as in Ai no Kusabi, blonde hair was a symbol of pure blood and closeness to Jupiter, more or less. The planet is called Tengoku in this universe, and other than the things previously mentioned, it's more or less my creation. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this! The song is 'Already Over' by Red.

_“On your knees, Pet.”_  
_“Pet, remember your place.”_  
_“I am your master, Pet.”_

Ichigo sat in one corner of the open balcony, huddled up against the wall, fighting back tears, once again. Aizen’s words rung harshly through his mind, all the cruel, derogatory things he’d said in the last week or so. The dark haired man had been getting more and more up-tight and prone to lashing out unexpectedly, ready to dole out punishment for close to no reason.

The lacerations and bruises on his lower back and backside from his most recent ‘punishment’ stung and burned sharply, but the pain was slowly being numbed by both the cold steel and hard stone under him, and the icy rain pouring down on top of him. He didn’t know how long he’d been out there, in the downpour, but since neither Ulquiorra, or Aizen had come looking for him, he assumed it hadn’t been too long. Not that it really mattered.

Nothing did anymore.

He was trapped here, in this gilded cage, kept away from his friends and family, from Renji, his old lover. He was suffocating in his confinement with a man who claimed to love him, only to turn around the next second and ‘punish’ him for some innocent transgression. It wasn’t love, he told himself, the gentleness the dark-eyed lord man occasionally exhibited was just another way to torture him. 

The pain in his body couldn’t even begin to compare to the anguish that filled his heart. Being here, being Aizen’s Pet, it was killing him, slowly, agonizingly slowly, and for him, there was no escape. Except one. 

With numbed, sluggish motions, Ichigo picked himself up off the ground and went to stand before the waist high railing-wall that separated him from open air, and a more-than a mile high drop to the ground. Without really thinking, without really knowing the reason why, he opened his mouth and let the words of a song he’d heard once upon a time slip out of him.

_“You never go_  
_You’re always here, suffocating me_  
_Under my skin_  
_I cannot run away_  
_Fading slowly,”_

He was well aware that he’d be dead before he hit the ground if he jumped from this height. In a morbid way, one born from the desperation his situation infused in him, the thought kind of pleased him.

For Ichigo, the prospect of suicide wasn’t about ending the pain, at least not entirely; it was about regaining his freedom before the inevitable occurred. If he stayed here, he would die, maybe not a physical death, but his soul would die, was dying already, piece by piece, bit by bit. It would continue until there was nothing left of him inside. More than anything, he wanted to be let out of the ethereal choke-hold he was being held in.

_“I'd give it all to you_  
_Let go of me_  
_Reaching as I fall_  
_I know it's already over now_  
_Nothing left to lose_  
_Loving you again_  
_I know it's already over, already over now,”_

He hadn’t seen his sisters in four years, not since he’d been snatched out of Karakura by the personal soldiers of Aizen Sousuke, the ruler of not only Tanagura, the shining, beautiful city that was built upon the lives and suffering of the inhabitants of Karakura, the mongrels, but virtually the entire planet of Tengoku. 

He was a Pet. A sex slave, more or less. Something of a status symbol, or an accessory. But he wasn’t like other Pets. No, he was from Karakura. No one could understand what their ruler wanted with a filthy mongrel from the slums, why in the world he wanted the strange, violent orange-haired boy as a Pet. They laughed at Ichigo, mocked and scorned him, looked at him with disgust that not even the mud on their priceless shoes warranted. They all hated him . . . .

Ichigo had forced himself to bend as far as he could, but he couldn’t do it anymore. He was at his breaking point. And all his so-called master/lover did was hurt him, despite his knowledge of his Pet’s pain.

_“My best defense, running from you_  
_I can't resist, take all you want from me_  
_Breaking slowly ,”_

It didn’t matter if he ran, or struggled, or hid, Aizen would always catch up to him, find him, beat him back into submission. 

He knew it was expected of a master and a disobedient Pet . . . but he didn’t see himself as a Pet. He hadn’t been born and bred for the task of serving, sexually pleasing whoever decided to pick him up and take him home with them. He was a young mongrel from Karakura, in the slums, he didn’t belong here, amid the shimmering towers and great lords of Tanagura. He didn’t belong in the arms and bed of the most powerful man on the planet. He wasn’t a Pet, and never would be.

And yet . . . there was a part of him who wanted to belong there. Wanted to bow down at the feet of that beautiful, powerful, mysterious man, wanted his affection, wanted his attention in any way, shape, or form, even if it came in the form of pain. It sickened him to think about it, that a part of him enjoyed being beaten and almost-raped, in return for next to nothing. But he couldn’t deny its existence. 

_“I'd give it all to you_  
_Letting go of me_  
_Reaching as I fall_  
_I know it's already over now_  
_Nothing left to lose_  
_Loving you again_  
_I know it's already over, already over now!”_

Driven by some mad urge, he climbed up on the railing, to stand on the ledge the top of it made, now closer to his death, and his freedom, than ever before. He was now voicing his song to all of Tanagura, anyone below, far, far below, who could hear him. 

_“You're all I'm reaching for_  
_It's already over_  
_All I'm reaching for!_  
_It's already over now,”_

His voice faded so the next words came out in a breathy whisper, barely even there, barely even heard over the sound of the rain.

_“I'd give it all to you,_  
_I offer up my soul . . . .”_

Suddenly, his voice rose up in a scream, a raw but melodic cry that voiced only a part of his suffering and despair, tears still slipping down his face

_“It's already over, already over now!”_

He was going to do it, he had decided. He truly couldn’t take this existence anymore. Always questioning himself about what he had done wrong to make the man he loved, the man he hated because he loved him, so angry with him. Always on the inside looking out at everything he’d been taken away from, everything he was denied, everything he’d lost. He couldn’t live with the part of him that was becoming nothing more than a mindless Pet. The opposite side of him, the one that would never let himself become such a thing, would always be in conflict with the other.

And no one would be able to stop him this time.

_“Give it all to you_  
_Letting go of me_  
_Reaching as I fall_  
_I know it's already over now_  
_Nothing left to lose_  
_Loving you again!_  
_I know it's already over now!_  
_It's already over now!_  
_I know it's already over, already over . . . .”_

“Ichigo!” a voice, a familiar, so-loved, so-hated voice, suddenly called his name. He glanced over his shoulder at where his long-haired master stood, the man’s dark brown eyes wide with fear and shock as he saw his Pet standing on the edge of the railing.

Ichigo smiled at him, a strange, part-sad, part-smug, part-bitter smile, and let his body go limp.

For a moment, as he started to fall, he was free. He was free, not bound by anything, not by chains, not by his feelings, not by the homing device that floated freely through his veins somewhere in his body, not the side of him that was screaming in terror at the prospect of having to leave that man. Nothing. He could . . . let go.

All too abruptly, his moment of freedom was over. Strong arms wrapped around his waist, hauling him back over the edge of the railing before he could plummet down to his death. He was being held tightly against Aizen’s chest as the man murmured soft words that didn’t make any sense in Ichigo’s half-hysterical, half-desperation mad mind.

He struggled, letting out a wordless shriek of rage and torment that he had, again, been barred from freedom.

“Ichigo! Ichigo, it’s alright. It’s going to be alright.” Aizen was saying in a rushed whisper. 

“No!” he screamed, still thrashing against Aizen’s hold, even though the still-rational part of him knew that there was no way he could overcome the Lord’s physical strength, “Nothing is alright! It’s never going to be alright!”

Aizen’s hold on him changed, it was less forceful, less restraining, still firm and unwilling to release him, but Ichigo suddenly found himself being cradled tenderly against his owner’s torso, his ear now resting just over the man’s heart. It was pounding erratically, as if he were frightened. There was a hand in his hair, fingers running through orange locks in gentle caresses, and something warm pressed on the top of his head.

“Ichigo, my Pet . . . my Ichigo . . . . I can’t lose you. Not now, not ever . . . I love you too much . . . .”

The words almost made Ichigo lash out again in enraged denial, but . . . something about the dark-haired man struck a chord within him. It was so soft, so relieved, so sincere, so loving. 

Aizen shifted again, so he could look down into his Pet’s honey brown eyes, smiling gently, “Do you know, Ichigo . . . that had you jumped . . . I would have jumped, too?”

No words came to the orangette that could express his astonishment and shame, so he let his tears start to run again, and buried his face into the crook of his master’s neck, while the other man held him close, and whispered affectionate nothings to him. He had come to realize . . . that while their situation wasn’t ideal . . . it was the best they could get without one or both of them breaking in a way that couldn’t be repaired.

Aizen was a great Lord, who had an image to keep up, an entire society to please. It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt Ichigo, it was that his position, the people around him, the people below him that was stringing him up higher and higher every day. In some ways, he had even more chains wrapped around him than his Pet did, and while he wanted to love Ichigo gently, sweetly, tenderly, there was no way that their world would allow it. Their love was doomed to be painful . . . but both of them now knew that there was no way they’d be able to live without each other.

The freedom Ichigo longed for came at the price of being separated from this man, this man who had such power over his emotions, who could break him down with a gesture or a word, who could make him feel like he was on cloud nine with the same. It would be unbearable, he realized. He hated it here, he hated the society they lived in, the world that couldn’t let them be together without them playing a senseless game of master and Pet that only hurt both of them. He hated the world that made him hate the man he loved, and threatened to drown him in its restraints.

But right here, right now, that cruel, mocking world didn’t exist. There was only Aizen Sousuke, only Kurosaki Ichigo, only them, only the sweet, but tortured love they shared.


End file.
